Family, Relationships

Who Can Find This Spouse?

The question is, who can find? The question is not whether she exists, but if anyone is patient enough and hard-working enough...

Written by Dr. Rei Kesis
· 3 min read >

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:10

The question is, who can find? The question is not whether she exists, but if anyone is patient enough and hard-working enough to find her. Who can find? The lazy misled people who think they can pray and just wait for their lifetime partner to show up must wake up to the reality that she must be found. Finding requires effort over and above prayers. Who can find?

The instructions may seem one-sided, but it is not. If the wife is to be found, then she must position herself to be found. If you do not position yourself to be found, you may never be found. Do not just pray and lazily wait to be found, you have to position yourself to be found. You position yourself to be found, by knowing what is being sought. If you put emphasis on what is not being sought, you may never be found.

The Bible tells us that what is to be sought and found is noble character. Anyone can find a voluptuous woman. Anyone can find a physically beautiful woman. Anyone can find an attractively curved woman. Anyone can find the sexy girl with stunning jewellery and revealing clothes. Anyone can find the lady with the best make-up. Anyone can find the lady with very high social media presence. Anyone can find a sexually loose woman. Anyone can find a club going, raving, pleasure loving woman. But the woman of noble character, who can find?

The emphasis of the search is a noble character. Character is what you have become over time. Character is developed over the years as you grow up. If you are young, how are you growing up? Are you hardworking? Are you respectful? Are you God loving? If you are grown up, are there traits of character you need to change? Are you praying and working on it? The Bible tells us that when looking for a lifetime spouse, we must focus on character. Hence the question, who can find?

A man with money, whether stolen or worked for can easily be found. A man with a big job, whether granted by relatives or corruption or hard work can be found with ease. A man with physical attraction can easily be found. A man with a charming tongue and darling of all girls can easily be found. But a man of noble character has to be selected carefully among those who come knocking on the lady’s door. A man worth marrying has to be found. Who can find?

The Bible tells us that she is far more than rubies, than money. A good spouse has more worth than money. It’s not about money, it is more than money. You may find money and untold suffering that will drive you to an early grave. The man may have money but a tyrant who will cause you depression and loneliness in the pool of material wealth. The lady may be won over to you with money that you have, but she turns out to be the thorn in your flesh all the days of your life. A lifetime spouse is more than money. That means that while money is important, it has to go beyond money, hence the need to find. Who can find?

Proverbs 31:10-31 is concerned about who the person is and not what the person has physically or materially. Proverbs 31:30 gives us one critical hint of a good lifetime spouse that we must find. The Bible tells us to totally avoid charm and beauty because those will quickly pass away, instead, we should focus on whether the person fears the LORD. To fear the LORD is to have a relationship with God. To be an active worshipper throughout your life. Charm is that which attracts. Things that attract us to a person, quickly pass away as we get to know the person. Immediately the money we loved fades as the real him is revealed. The curves we couldn’t stop dreaming about fade as we the real lady becomes clear to us. But the character that is built on a relationship with God always abides. Look for a partner who has a strong active relationship with God. Unless you have a strong relationship with God, you may never appreciate or find someone who has a strong relationship with God. Who can find?

Finding requires time. Do not rush relationships to the altar of marriage. It takes time to get over what first attracted us to this man or woman. It takes time to sober up from the first fall in love and now see the person properly. Until you recover from the initial shock of falling in love, do not even think marriage. Grave mistakes are made when people marry within the year that they met. One or two exceptions may work out, but the majority wake up to the reality of their partner when they are too late into the relationship. Take time to date and court and even break up, because the Bible expects us to be in a process of finding. Take time, enough time, of relating as friends before making permanent decisions. When you engage in sex before marriage, the search ends there and you either settle or part ways. In order to find the right person, do not engage in sex. The question is who can find?

If perchance what you found too late into marriage is a disappointment, turn to God and ask for the gift of patience and endurance. God can turn your misery into a blessing. If you are still single, make sure you can be found and that you are searching. Focus on character based on the fear of God. Take time in the friendship of dating and courting. Be sure the person is your true friend and has a noble character. We have a blog on this site Who To Marry – Lover Or Friend? that discusses whether we should marry a lover or a friend. Search for it and read it. Therefore find a friend who fears God and has great character. Take your time. Only the patient can find. Who can find?

May God bless our marriages. May God bless our dating and courting. May God give us the wisdom to live in marriage, to find and to be found, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

Written by Dr. Rei Kesis
Rei Kesis is an ordained Pastor of the SDA Church and A Senior Lecturer of Applied Theology and Religious Studies. Profile

25 Replies to “Who Can Find This Spouse?”

  1. May our spouses be of noble character in Jesus name and may those of noble character who are still searching or are being sought be found…

  2. Amen πŸ™

    May God bless my marriage.

    May God give me the wisdom to live in marriage in the Name of Jesus I pray.

    Have a blessed Sunday 😊

  3. May God help me as I work on my character and build my relationship with Him. May He guide us young people in patience and wisdom in these matters.

    Be blessed Pastor.

  4. Great read. May the Lord help me first to be of a noble character and that our marriages will flourish

  5. Amen for these timely nuggets, God bless you my Elder. All we need now is the grace to live up to these counsels, so help us/me God.

  6. Lover booooy!. Pastor umegonga msumari kwa mbao. This is a Spirit inspired counsel. May God bless you abundantly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *