When You Can’t Get What You Want

James 4:2
You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
James 4:3
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

What happens when you can’t get what you want? All of us have wanted something we never got. What happens? This is an experience we have had and will still have in the future. What happens when you can’t get what you want?

The Bible is our text today that explains what happens to us, within us and how we react towards others when we can’t get what we want. The Bible also explains why we do not get what we want and how to rectify our pursuits. What happens when you can’t get what you want?

The Bible says that first when you can’t get what you want, you kill, covet, quarrel and fight. When you cant get what you want you naturally and unprovoked seek to harm others. You blame others for what they are not guilty of. You speak negatively about others. You scheme and plan to falsely accuse others and get them hurt. You become a hater when you cant get what you want.

When you can’t get what you want you to create divisions among people. When you can’t get what you want, you become the center of acrimony wherever you are. When you cant get what you want, the devil takes advantage and makes you bitter vengeful, and destructive particularly of others. When you can’t get what you want, you start hating and hunting to destroy those who seem to have what you don’t have.

Is a family in trouble? Is a workplace in trouble? Is a church in trouble? Turmoil and infighting? Somebody somewhere does not have what they want and as a result, Satan is making them drive his agenda of creating negative energy.

Secondly, the Bible tells us that when we do not have what we want, it is because we do not ask God. We try on our own and we fail. We try wrong unethical methods and we fail. The problem is that many times we do not ask God. We have not trusted God to provide that which we badly need. If we had asked God we would have gotten what we wanted.

2 Samuel 12:8
And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more.

Nathan speaks on behalf of God to David. Nathan tells David that he had sinned by killing Uriah and then taking Bathsheba Uriah’s wife. This was adultery and murder. Then God tells David that if he really wanted Bathsheba and more than he already had, he should have asked God. David couldn’t get what he wanted and his reaction was to kill Uriah. When Uriah couldn’t fall for David’s trap to sleep with his wife so that David’s pregnancy seems Uriah’s, David did what all those who can’t get what they want, do. David killed Uriah. God tells David, the solution would have been asking God and not adultery and murder. The mistake we make when we can’t get what we want is that we do not ask God.

First, when we do not get what we want we harm others and become destructive because Satan has taken advantage of using us. Examine your recent anger outbursts and quarrels, hasn’t Satan been using you because you do not have something you want? Secondly, note that we do not have what we want because we did not ask God. If only we could ask God in prayer, He would respond and we wouldn’t have to sin to get what we want.

Thirdly, when we ask for what we want, we do not get it because our motives are bad. God can read and He knows our motives. God knows the intention why we want a talent like that of that sister. God knows the motive behind pursuing that course of study. God knows the motive behind that investment. God knows the motive and he defeats our efforts because our intentions are evil. We want to satisfy ourselves and harm others. Our pleasure is the priority even at the expense of the pain of others. Therefore, God denies us what we want, because our motives are not noble.

We want what others have. We want to be like others. We want to be better than others. We want recognition. We want to be the best and all others second to us. We want success. We want profits. We want to be celebrated. We want to be wanted. Yet we can’t get what we want. Consequently, we are now bitter and out to harm those who seem to have what we want. We do not have what we want because we haven’t asked God. We do not have what we want because even when we asked God, our motives are bad and dangerous. Therefore, we do not have what we want!

God of heaven, give me wisdom so that I can examine myself if my bad behavior is a result of not having what I want. Save me from the clutches of Satan who wants to continue using me when I do not have what I want. Remind me to always ask for that which I want. Sieve my motives and expose it to me so that I rectify and with good motives seek what I want, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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