You Can’t Comfort Without Listening

Job 6:26 – Do you mean to correct what I say, and treat my desperate words as wind? (NIV)

6:26  You pretend to tell me what’s wrong with my life, – but treat my words of anguish as so much hot air. (Message Bible)

Do you think your words are convincing when you disregard my cry of desperation? (New Living Translation)

“Do you intend to reprove my words [with a convincing argument], When the words of one in despair belong to the wind [and go ignored]? (Amplified Bible)

Job was a righteous man according to God. He was wealthy and healthy. He had a wife and adult children. All was well until satan brought him disaster.

Satan suddenly destroyed all of Job’s wealth. Satan killed Job’s children. Satan gave Job a terrible disease and his health was gone. Satan brought a disagreement between Job and his wife.

When Job’s friends heard about his misfortunes, they came to visit him. They came to comfort him. They came to encourage him to hang in there. It is good to visit your friends in their lowest moments. A friend in need is a friend indeed!

When Job’s friends arrived they were so shocked at his misfortunes that they wept allowed. Weep with those who are weeping and rejoice with those who are rejoicing.Then Job’s friends sat quietly with him for seven days without saying anything. In order to comfort someone you must cry with them. In order to comfort someone you must create time.

When visiting someone to comfort them, you shouldn’t appear to be in a rush. When visiting people for prayers, do not appear to be in a rush. When you appear to be in a rush, it shows you care about yourself than the person. Avoid words and actions that show that you are in a rush, even if you are in a hurry. Job’s friends spent seven days with him in silence.

Presence is comforting. Text messages are good but presence is better. Email of sympathy is good but your presence is better. Calls of assurance are very good but your presence is better. It is understood you may not be available all the time but in desperate situations and in reality, your presence will be appreciated much more. Job’s friends came to comfort him by spending time with him. Job was rich so his friends were rich and busy but they came to spend time with him.

Job’s friends sat with him in silence because presence in itself speaks more effectively words. They sat in silence because you do not always have to say something. They sat in silence because silence is better than wrong words. Silence is powerful. Only speak if your words are better than your silence.

Eventually after a long silence, Job’s friends started speaking. After reading the whole story you will discover it is better if they remained quiet, Even God at the rebuked their speeches. Are your words better than silence?

In our text today, Job accuses his friends of ignoring his words. You cannot comfort anyone without listening to them. Listening shows you care. Listening shows you are willing to understand. If you don’t listen, you don’t care. In any relationship anywhere, if you don’t listen it means you don’t care!

Job accuses his friends of treating his words as nothing. Job expresses his pain and they dismiss his words? Is that comforting? There is no comfort in arguments. You can argue your theological biblical position but it will only nullify your intended comforting.

If you ignore what those you are comforting are saying, you are a useless self centered person. Your silence is of a higher value because it may be mistaken for listening. Brethren, listening is mandatory to comfort anyone and everyone.

Listen to your parents. Listen to your children. Listen to your spouse. Listen to your bosses. Listen to your employees. Listen to your customers. Listen to your neighbors. All relationships get better if you can demonstrate that you are listening. Put your phone aside and listen. Shut your laptop down and listen. Move to a quiet place and listen. Repeat key points that the other person has said to confirm that you are listening. Seek clarification of what you haven’t understood for it shows you are listening. Don’t plan to reply. Don’t rush to reply. Only think of the reply after they stop talking.

Listening doesn’t mean you agree with what the other person is saying. Listening means you care. When opportunity arises you can effectively correct the wrong things that the person said. For now shut up and listen in order to comfort. You can’t comfort without listening!

Only go and comfort someone if you can shut up and demonstrate that you are listening. Don’t rush to defend God. In misery people may make theological false statements. Remember God is great and for sure doesn’t need your defense. God can defend Himself. Your immediate assignment is to comfort.

When people are in pain they are not in a position to learn theological concepts. Just listen and comfort them. After all these or at an appropriate time you will do your teaching. For now shut up and listen!

When someone is angry, don’t argue to prove your point. They are angry and are unteachable at this moment. Just listen it will calm their anger. If you argue with a fool nobody will notice the difference. Listen to the angry, assure them you are listening. Later on you can make your point.

Those we relate with need us to show care. We show care by listening. You can’t love without listening. You can’t lead without listening. You can’t comfort without listening. If you can’t listen you are not worth what you say.

May God help us to be true friends. May God help us to create time for others who need us. May God help us to listen to others, in Jesus’s name, Amen!

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