Asking Questions and Expressing Pain is Okay

Job 3:1-3
(1) After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. (2) He said:
(3) “May the day of my birth perish,
and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’

Job 3:11-13
(11) “Why did I not perish at birth,
and die as I came from the womb?
(12) Why were there knees to receive me
and breasts that I might be nursed?
(13) For now I would be lying down in peace;
I would be asleep and at rest

Job Chapter three is Job’s response to the multiple tragedies that have hit him hard. He has lost property and all wealth in a short time. He has lost all his children in accidents that would be referred to as acts of God. He has lost his health and the loyalty of his wife. He is lonely and suffering. The friends who came to visit him are in shock and have been speechless for days. Then in our chapter today, Job speaks for the first time.

What do you expect from a man who is in such a situation? Is he allowed to cry or you would join who tell such people to stop crying? Is he allowed to question God as part of processing pain, or you would shut him up from speaking such words? What should a man in such deep distress do?

The inspired Bible tells us that when Job opened his mouth, he cursed the day he was born. He was not happy to be alive. He wished he was dead. He wished he had never been born. He wondered why God allowed him to live. He actually says that what he dreaded actually happened, Job 3:25. Can you imagine your worst fears coming true?

God allowed Job to express the pain in the best way he could. God allowed Job to ask questions. People mourn differently, allow people to mourn the best way that meets their needs. Do not worry about God being offended, God will deal with it Himself. God hasn’t hired any of us to prevent people from offending Him when they are mourning. It is healthy to let a person speak out their pain and all that they are thinking. Asking questions and expressing pain is okay!

Job 1:22
In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Job 2:10
…In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

Job did not accuse God of causing his suffering. Job only asked why God allowed it. He did not accuse God of causing the pain he was in, but he questioned why a powerful God couldn’t have stopped it. Asking questions and expressing pain is okay!

God, why now? God, why didn’t you stop it? God why me again? God, you have power why don’t you use it and rectify this situation? God, is this a punishment for something? God, can’t you forgive now and help? God, do you care? God are you there? Asking questions is okay and expressing pain is okay!

God did not respond immediately because such questions and expressions of pain don’t need answers. The funeral preacher may not need to give answers to why this has happened. Many times when we ask questions in pain, we are mourning and discharging the potential poison from our minds. It doesn’t need immediate answers. God had the answers and would have responded to Job on the spot, but He didn’t. Why do we feel smarter than God and want to reply instantly to people who are in pain? Asking questions and expressing pain is okay!

All we need to do is to be there for those people. Listen to their expression of anger and pain. Understand them. Empathize and your presence becomes the most critical thing. Show that you care and are there for them. Be the audience for their questions and expression of pain. Don’t act all-knowing and try to advise how one should mourn, no. Just be present and weep with them, that is enough. Offer any other help but don’t distract the mourning process. If God didn’t stop the mourning process, who do you think you are? Asking questions and expressing pain is okay!

At the end of Job’s self-expression, God responded and answered all questions and Job was satisfied. God will answer all questions of those who are now in pain. God will do it appropriately at the right time, for now, He listens and watches with love as we mourn and He heals us from pain. We will understand it by and by, what we can’t understand now!

By and by, when the morning comes (sing it)
All the saints of God is gathering home (sing loud)
We’ll tell the story how we’ll overcome
We will understand it better by and by (sing it again)

We may not understand and we will never understand the pain of another person, but God does. Tears are a language that our God understands and He eventually responds to it.

Often you wonder why tears come into your eyes
And burdens seem to be much more than you can stand
But God is standing near, He sees your falling tears
Tears are a language God understands

God sees the tears of a brokenhearted soul
He sees your tears and hears them when they fall
God weeps along with man and takes him by the hand
Tears are a language God understands

Dear God, save us from pain, but if it must come, stand by us and comfort us and help us through it until we understand it. May we never lose faith because of pain. May we never lose faith because bad things have happened to us. Help us to be appropriate to those who are in pain. Remind us that asking questions and expressing pain is okay, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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