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Friendship is a Compulsory Requirement, Do you Qualify?

Love is important and sensible where there is friendship. “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that...

Written by Dr. Rei Kesis
· 2 min read >

3 John 1:14
I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.
Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.

We don’t choose our relatives. We don’t choose our neighbors. But we choose our friends. Friendship is voluntary closeness to a person. Friendship is not a compelled. Friendship is both ways. Where one is not willing, there can be no friendship.

John 15:15
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

When Jesus referred to His disciples as friends, He expressed it in a manner to suggest that it was an elevation, a promotion. When Jesus referred to His disciples as friends, it was the highest attainment possible in relating with Jesus. Friendship is the highest possible level of relationship among human beings.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is important and sensible where there is friendship. This great thinker concluded and I agree with him, that what relationships suffer from, is that couples declare love for each other, but they are not friends with each other. The best advice ever given to those preparing to marry, is that marry your friend, a true friend.

Many single people suddenly realize it is time to marry or get married. Then they venture to go and search for the perfect partner, the right man or woman. Unfortunately for them, they find this person and end up in marriage. Several weeks or months later, they discover the person is right and they have chosen to be in love, but they are not friends!

Friendship is developed over time. There is no quick route to friendship. That is why courtship must take an average of two years, to determine if you are friends. A quick interview can identify the right person, but friendship is tested over time. Any rushed marriage is most likely regrettable. Friendship has to be developed over a long period of time!

Our main text today tells us that Apostle John in his third letter to the church, send greetings from friends in the church he was in, to the friends in the church he was writing to. What captures my attention is that they refer to each other as friends!

Church people could refer to each other by many titles. They could refer to each other as brothers and sisters. They could refer to each other by their ecclesiastical titles, elder, deacon, pastors, prefect, choir director, etc. But John identifies himself and his team as friends to the other team who are also friends.

Are your churchmates your friends? If not, you may not be in a church. We are supposed to work towards beings friends in the place we worship and fellowship. How can you be a friend when you arrive late for worship and leave early before anyone approaches. If friendship is a compulsory requirement, do you qualify?

Are your church leaders your friends? Are you a friend to your church leaders? We must all aim at being friends. John tells us that communication between churches is communication between friends. Your church meetings should be a meeting of friends, is it a meeting of friends? When you go to worship, you don’t worship with church mates, they are friends, are they friends?

Strive to be friends. Make friends of your church mates. Make friends among fellow worshippers. May God make us friendly and grant us, friends, at our place of worship, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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Written by Dr. Rei Kesis
Rei Kesis is an ordained Pastor of the SDA Church and A Senior Lecturer of Applied Theology and Religious Studies. An Award-Winning Author and an Endorsed Chaplain. Profile

16 Replies to “Friendship is a Compulsory Requirement, Do you Qualify?”

  1. Amen! Has reminded me of your earlier peace about “Who to marry, Lover or Friend”. Friendship is key to Amy relationship to bloom.

  2. Amen! Has reminded me of your earlier peace about “Who to marry, Lover or Friend”. Friendship is key for any relationship to bloom and stand the test of time and life’s challenges.

  3. Amen.
    My take-home:
    1. Friendship is the highest possible level of relationship among human beings.
    2. Friendship is developed over time. There is no quick route to friendship.
    This is so informative.
    Thank you pastor and God bless you.

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