It’s About Husbands and Wives NOT Boyfriends and Girlfriends

1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

1 Corinthians 7:2-3
(2) But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. (3) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
(8) Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. (9) But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Acting married yet you are still dating is not a sign of deep love but deep confusion. Acting married is jumping classes that should be taken progressively. Acting married is being conned to give what should only be given in the safety of marriage covenant. Acting married is not maturity but sophisticated childishness.

If you are not married, don’t act married, act unmarried and enjoy that section of life. It is wrong, sinful, and eventually heartbreaking if the married act single, and the single act married. Being in a serious long-term relationship is not anywhere near marriage and it doesn’t accord you even an iota of marriage privileges.

You are only married as a Christian if the church recognizes your marriage. What the state calls marriage may not be marriage by the church standards. What is traditionally referred to as marriage by various communities may not be marriage by church standards. The church should bless your union and that doesn’t mean an elaborate costly wedding ceremony.

Wives and not girlfriends should submit to their husbands, not boyfriends. To submit carries the essence of being in total almost unquestioning support. It carries the idea of having no option but persevering until it works. These are things you can’t do for a boyfriend, no! That will spoil him and give him a sense of entitlement. In fact, such a boyfriend will have no desire or excitement to marry you because he already has what marriage offers. Before marriage, make it clear you have an option to quit if all is not well. After marriage no option to quit unless life is threatened.

Wives and not girlfriends should hang onto marriage hoping their husbands and not boyfriends will get converted. Only in marriage do you work towards the conversion of your spouse. As a single person, only date people you share the same faith. Dating processes and conversion processes are worlds apart. A boyfriend or girlfriend trying to convert their unmarried partner is an unbiblical waste of time. A drunkard careless hopeless failure will not change because you dated him. Hanging onto such a person before marriage is not commitment but desperation that will be regrettable. Only in marriage do you hang in there. You hang in there in marriage because you didn’t know this as you got into marriage or unexpectedly the person changed.

Sex is NOT for boyfriends and girlfriends. If you are burning with desire for sex then get married. Sex is safe and good in marriage. Sex before marriage blinds the two from proper dating. Sex before marriage pressurizes the lady to stick to the man. Sex before marriage removes the man’s appetite to pursue the lady. Sex before marriage can keep two people together for sexual satisfaction without true love for each other. Sex before marriage is a sin that unless we repent we are hell-bound. Sex before marriage comes with risks of unwanted pregnancy. Pregnancy has never and will never enhance a man’s love. Sex before marriage comes with guilt and disease risk. Sex is for the properly married!

The simpler the instructions the more difficult they are to follow. Yet these simple instructions would save us many years of regret and bad marriage pain. If you are single or married, stick to your lane. If you mix lanes you will regret it and get hurt. Don’t act married if you are single and don’t act single if you are married!

Do not provide wifely duties and care for a boyfriend. Let it be clear that you are a girlfriend he can lose and should strive to have officially. Wifely duties of house care and management. Wifely duties of decision-making for his house. Wifely duties of being available for his convenience at your inconvenience. Wifely duties of sexual engagement, etc. Do not offer wifely duties, but be clear that you are willing and ready once the relationship upgrades to marriage.

Do not offer husband duties to a girlfriend. Husband duties of financing every aspect of her life. You can give gifts and occasional help but not a permanent financial arrangement. Girlfriend allowance should not be allowed. It is a commitment for marriage. Husband duties of being available all the time for her convenience at your inconvenience. Husband duties of sexual engagement, etc.

These are tested principles. To think you are an exception is to suffer from grandiose delusions. The word of God can never be wrong. May we strive to act single when single and married when married, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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