The Positive and Realistic Meaning of Break-up

1 John 2:19
They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.

New Living Translation
These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us.

Amplified Bible
They went out from us [seeming at first to be Christians], but they were not really of us [because they were not truly born again and spiritually transformed]; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out [teaching false doctrine], so that it would be clearly shown that none of them are of us.

Contemporary English Version
These people came from our own group, yet they were not really part of us. If they had been part of us, they would have stayed with us. But they left, which proves they did not belong to our group.

Good News Translation
These people really did not belong to our fellowship, and that is why they left us; if they had belonged to our fellowship, they would have stayed with us. But they left so that it might be clear that none of them really belonged to us.

Breaking up is painful. Being left by someone or people is as good as being rejected in public. Nobody likes to break up. When people who were once identified as being together, end up parting ways, whatever the reasons, it is sad!

Everyone feels the pain of parting ways. The one who initiated and the one who seems like a victim are all in pain because of that separation. It is not a nice feeling. It comes with self-blame and lowers self-esteem.

We hardly fully recover from the loss of relationships. We eventually learn to move on, but once in a long while the moment of loss or the value of the lost replays again. It’s never fully gone. Loss of partnership leaves a scar in our hearts. A scar that can’t be fully hidden.

Since loss is that bad, we need to be careful before committing to any relationship. We need to slow down and avoid a rush. In carpenter’s parlance – you measure twice so that you only cut once.

Take time to date, and court, instead of rushing to marriage. Take longer to teach people before forming permanent relationships as church members through baptism. Take time to fully disclose yourself to strangers. Prove commitment as you progress steadily.

Apostle John writes to the church that had just lost members. Members walked away from fellowship. It made the church look bad, weak, and negatively exposed. Therefore, John writes our text today to console the church.

John pronounces indisputable facts about breakups. John tells the church that the people who left the church never belonged to the church because those who belong never leave. All along as they stayed in the church they were just hypocrites. When push came to shove, the reality hit them, the truth came out and they did what was best for all of us, they left!

If we miss those who left, we are missing a lie. All along they were lying that they belong, yet they don’t. If you discover that someone was lying to you, do you still miss the lie? No way! It hurts but you now are glad it’s over.

When you are rejected, pray for the grace to manage your anger. Anger May blind you from seeing the good news in the breakup. A liar has just left. You were being taken for a ride, but now you are not. The pain is sharpest at the beginning. If you hold on, the pain will subside and you will wisely hunt a better deal. Don’t fight and kill, you will rot in prison and achieve nothing.

Apostle John tells the church that whoever left never ever belonged. If anyone who belongs leaves then God has lost, yet our God never loses.

John 6:37
All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

No one who belongs leaves, because God ensures they don’t leave. If they leave, it means they couldn’t listen to God. It means in the grand scheme of things, they were meant to leave because they didn’t belong.

If God has planned that Jane and Joseph will wed, it can’t fail because God doesn’t fail. Anyone else that Jane and Joseph date will eventually leave them because they don’t belong to them. Why were Jane and Joseph left by others? Because those who left never belonged to them.

Has someone or some people left the church and no effort is yielding any fruit? Leave it to God, knowing that they left because they didn’t belong. Has someone left you? Go through the pain knowing that they never belonged and it doesn’t depend on your decisions.

Breakup is inevitable in this life. We break up with business partners. We break up with friends. We even break up with spouses who have been with us for many years. We break up with church members who backslide. Breakup is all around us!

Dear God, as a church and as individual members, help us to handle breakups wisely and to see the potential in them, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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