When it is Personal Seek their Consent First

Philemon 1:14
But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary.

Contemporary English Version
But I won’t do anything unless you agree to it first. I want your act of kindness to come from your heart, and not be something you feel forced to do.

Good News Translation
However, I do not want to force you to help me; rather, I would like for you to do it of your own free will. So I will not do anything unless you agree.

Every individual has personal space. That personal space must be respected even if we feel we have some authority over the individual. Everyone has a right to personal space in which they act without being interfered with or without them interfering with others. Respect that space by seeking their consent!

It is within my personal space to decide who is my friend. Don’t force any friend on me. It is on this basis that forced marriages are abhorrent. They defile personal space.

In our text today Apostle Paul tells Philemon that he doesn’t want to interfere with his personal space. Onesimus was a slave servant to Philemon. Onesimus stole things from Philemon and ran away. While on the run, Onesimus met Apostle Paul and got converted to Christianity. The book of Philemon in the Bible is Apostle Paul’s attempt to reconcile Philemon and Onesimus.

Onesimus deserved death for his crimes. Apostle Paul pleaded with Philemon to forgive him. Apostle Paul pleads because the decision to forgive is within personal space. Personal space should be respected and no one forced to forgive. The biblical consequence of not forgiving is that God will not forgive us, Matthew 6:14-15. However, we are not forced to forgive. It is in our personal space!

Apostle Paul also wished to have Onesimus as his companion and assistant in the ministry. But Apostle Paul knew that to keep Onesimus would be to invade the private space of Philemon. In order to seek proper consent from Philemon, Apostle Paul send Onesimus with this letter back to Philemon. Consent must be properly sought!

Seek consent properly or else it would look like consent but it is still forced. Individuals must be given, space, time, and opportunity to make a decision free from our pressure so that they don’t feel forced to do what is within their space to decide. It is a hallmark of maturity and civilization to grant people that space!

Apostle Paul tells Philemon in our text today, that I don’t want it to look like I forced you. Paul was a senior to Philemon. It was easy for Paul to create a situation where Philemon says yes even when he didn’t want to. Philemon would say yes but everyone knows he has been forced to say yes. This is what Apostle Paul was avoiding. It is uncivilized and unchristian to use such uncouth means to seek consent. God cannot bless forced decisions!

If we have an upper hand over anyone, we must be reasonable and sensitive enough to know that they can give us consent even when they don’t want to. Like Apostle Paul, we should avoid that situation. We must allow individuals to act freely in their space. Anything done under duress is contrary to God’s will. God will never bless decisions made under duress. Seek proper consent!

As a parent identify the personal space of your child and seek consent. We must seek children’s consent strategically in relation to their age or else excess freedom may destroy their character. As leaders and employers, we should identify the personal space of those under us, then seek proper consent if we must interrupt it. Consent is not enough, it must be proper consent without duress of any kind.

We truly enjoy life when our spaces are respected. Society becomes a better place when we respect each other’s space. We should strive to make life better by respecting personal space.

Personal space includes the right to confidential matters being left confidential. Some extent of medical care is within personal space. Choice of worship is within personal space. Those below the legal adult age have less personal space. Those above the adult legal age have more personal space.

We must also be aware that by joining certain groups or institutions and organizations, we allow them some extent of getting into our personal space. If you join the armed forces of many nations, some degree of your personal space is surrendered to the state. You must be keen and make conscious decisions so that you don’t cry foul after getting in.

Our text today sets an example for our personal and public lives. Let us make it a habit to seek the consent of those whose space we wish to get into. May God grant it in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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