Song of Songs 8:1 (NIV) – If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother’s breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me.
The book Song of Songs is a story of a love relationship between a man and a woman. The book is made of a dialogue between the boyfriend and girlfriend. The dialogue includes how they desires and admire each other. It is an inspired book of the Bible. That basic simple meaning of a love relationship should be embraced before insisting on a deeper meaning, which maybe eisegesis.
God created us to fall in love and desire each other. Therefore it is not unspiritual, so to speak, to be in love and have the story in the Holy Bible. A love relationship is holy before and during marriage.
In our passage of consideration today, the lady tells the boyfriend that I wish you were my brother. She then explains what she would have done if he was a brother. What she means is that brothers and boyfriends are not handled the same way.
Song of Songs 8:1-3 (NIV) – 1 If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother’s breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. 2 I would lead you and bring you to my mother’s house — she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates. 3 His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.
If you were my brother, I would kiss you and no one would despise me. In other cultures kissing is a safe way of greeting each other. Therefore family members can kiss each other as a form of greeting.
2 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV) – Greet one another with a holy kiss.
Apostle Paul tells the Corinthians to greet each other with a holy kiss. That means kissing wasn’t uncommon among close people. That also means there are different types of kissing or kisses.
In the Song of Songs, the lady tells the boyfriend, if you were my brother, I would safely kiss you and it wouldn’t be an issue. The world is watching the church. Be careful how you handle each other so that you are not despised and the gospel is despised.
Song of Songs 8:1-3 (NIV) – 1 If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother’s breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. 2 I would lead you and bring you to my mother’s house — she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates. 3 His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.
According to the lady here, a brother can be safely kissed. A brother can be taken home anyhow any time. But a boyfriend who is taken home must be one who is promising to be a long term partner.
According to the lady in this Bible book, a bother can be safely shown hospitality and have a safe physical touch. That should not be done to a boyfriend. A boyfriend is handled differently. The next verse explains why a boyfriend is handled differently from a brother.
Song of Songs 8:4 (NIV) – Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
A boyfriend kissed can arouse love. A boyfriend taken home can arouse love. A boyfriend given a meal treat can arouse love. A boyfriend’s physical touch can arouse love. To arouse love is to initiate what the man had figured out to initiate.
She says to ladies, don’t arouse love until it naturally originates from him the man. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. If you show him you are desperate for him, he may get aroused. He may pursue you for sex and afterwards abandon you because he wasn’t really into you. Therefore go slow, let him show interest and lead the way. Daughters of Jerusalem, to enjoy love relationships, let the men lead, let them arouse the love.
Ruth 3:16-18 (NIV) – 16 When Ruth came to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, “How did it go, my daughter?” Then she told her everything Boaz had done for her 17 and added, “He gave me these six measures of barley, saying, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’” 18 Then Naomi said, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.”
Ruth meets Boaz and it seems Boaz is starting to like her. Ruth tells her mother inlaw Naomi how Boaz has treated her well. Ruth is tempted to go back to Boaz. Naomi tells Ruth to wait until Boaz makes the next move. Let Boaz arouse the love. Let Boaz lead the relationship. Let Boaz seek you.
Once a lady has captured attention of the man, she should not arouse love, let the man make the rest of the move. A lady like Ruth made the first move. Now the man knows you exist. Now the man has your contacts. Naomi says wait for him to make other moves. Do not awaken or arouse love until it so desires.
A relationship led by a man is stress free and sustainable. If a lady leads the relationship, it will be like dragging the man through a process he is not interested in. Do not arouse love, daughters of Jerusalem.
You easily arouse love if you become comfortable around a boyfriend as if he is your brother. Handle them differently. A boyfriend needs a safe distance and it will arouse love in him. Don’t handle a boyfriend like a brother. You will be despised.
If you are too close to a man who is not a boyfriend, you may prevent other men from approaching you. You may be despised for an assumption may be made that you are engaged in sexual immorality. Handle brothers and boyfriends differently.
A boyfriend should be carefully assessed before being taken home. Before treats of meals and drinks. A boyfriend shouldn’t be given physical touch access. It will arouse love. Handle brothers and boyfriends differently.
Claiming to be social and handling many men as brothers isn’t very wise. You may arouse false love. You may end up regretting. Handle them differently!
If you are married, do not handle your husband as a brother. Handling a brother is devoid of sexual admiration and desire. Handling a husband as a brother will kill the marriage. Husbands shouldn’t handle wives as sisters, it will kill marriage. Handle them as they are supposed to be handled. Handle them in a way that awakens or arouses love. It is good for the marriage.
May God grant us wisdom to properly handle each other. Brothers as brothers and boyfriends as boyfriends. May singles find genuine love without arousing it at the wrong time. May married people keep their love aroused. In Jesus’s name, Amen!
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Amen.
This is timely
Amen! God is faithful
,Amen 🙏
Amen