Can Any Marriage Survive Such A Situation?

2 Samuel 6:16 – As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

2 Samuel 6:20 – When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

2 Samuel 6:21 – David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD.

2 Samuel 6:22. – I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.”

2 Samuel 6:23 – And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.

King Saul promised that if anyone killed Goliath, he would marry his daughter. David killed Goliath and was given Michal daughter of king Saul to marry. A daughter of royalty got married to the then commoner.

David married Michal without falling in love. They didn’t have to date and court. They just got married. Could this be a reason why they couldn’t live well in their marriage?

David had other forced marriages. David on defeating king Saul, took over his wives and concubines. No negative issues are reported about them as they related with David. Could it therefore be that Michal refused to adjust to the reality of marriage?

Michal despises David for not acting as a king. Could this be a problem of her background? Could it be that she refused to accept that a commoner had become a king? Did she feel like she knew more about royalty than David?

The Bible tells us that Michal despised David in her heart. If you despise your partner, can marriage survive? When you think your partner is an embarrassment. When you think your partner is a disappointment. When you think you know better than your partner. Would you relate well enough under such circumstances?

Do you despise your partner in your heart? Do you wish you had someone else? Have you refused to adjust to the reality that this is now your partner? Pray for grace to adjust and accept your partner, to avoid the Michal tragedy.

Michal didn’t support David. All people were in the streets dancing and celebrating with David. Even slave girls were there. Michal was all alone in her palace looking through the window. She didn’t want to support and celebrate David bringing the Ark to Jerusalem. She despised David and couldn’t support him in public. It was a deep seated problem!

Why aren’t you publicly supporting your wife or husband? Could it be a symptom that you despise her or him? Are you so disappointed with your partner that celebrating with her or him publicly is difficult for you?

What is your reaction to the success of your partner? When your partner is in public celebrations, what is your attitude? Michal kept off celebrations led by David. She despised David in her heart!

When David returns home after a busy day of celebration, he meets cold and sharp accusations. How do you meet your partner after they have had a long day? Do you pour cold water on your partner’s good day?

David had a full day of celebration and joy. David goes home to Michal only to meet accusations. Is such a home worth going to? Have you made your home a difficult place to go to for your partner and children? What is your contribution to making the home a good or bad place? Based on how you treat your family at home, are they happy when they leave or when they return home?

Romans 12:15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Michal should have rejoiced with David when he was rejoicing. She picked a wrong time to raise her issues. She was insensitive to timing. Are you sensitive to when you raise possibly hurting issues? To raise hurting issues in the middle of a meal or moment of joy is being insensitive like Michal.

Good citizenship requires that you rejoice with those who rejoice. Good Christianity requires that you do not ruin a celebration. Be sensitive to those who are celebrating or mourning. Without such sensitive you will lose friends and even marriage!

Michal’s expectations of king David were too high. Marriage partners come together in marriage with expectations. Successful marriages are those where you progressively understand each other and adjust your expectations to fit the reality. If we do not adjust our expectations, will marriage survive? Will we be happy?

Michal also exhibited insecurity. She said David was exposing himself before slave girls. Not before men but slave girls. She was afraid a slave girl may join her as a co-wife. We need a divinely given self-esteem to cure insecurities. Insecurities destroy any relationship. No relationship can be enjoyable if there are insecurities. When one partner is paranoid.

Are you insecure in your leadership? Are you sick enough to think and believe that everyone wants your position? Are you deceptively convinced by sycophants that others are after you?

Are you insecure in business? Are you insecure that someone will edge you out? Are insecure thoughts preoccupying your mind?

The altercation between David and Michal revealed that they disrespected each other. How do you communicate with your partner? Are you always angrily communicating? Is your communication a war of words? Can a relationship survive when all discussion is attack and defense format?

The discussion between David and Michal ends without a conclusion or reconciliation. If issues in your relationship are left unattended, is there a future? A relationship with a pile up of unattended issues is not safe!

The story ends by an intentional note that from that day, Michal never had children to her dying day. Some writers have suggested that it was a curse from God that made her barren. Some think it was a curse for disrespecting an anointed king. I take the view that others have also taken, that it was a lack of intimacy.

Marriage without intimacy cannot have children. From that day Michal didn’t have children until she died. Her disagreement with David killed sexual desires and consequently she couldn’t have children.

Have you killed the sexual desires of your partner? Is intimacy mechanical or missing in your relationship which should ideally be intimate? Faked intimacy is as good as no intimacy.

Michal was married to king David therefore she couldn’t divorce him. The culture at that time didn’t allow a woman to initiate divorce, therefore Michal couldn’t divorce. David had Michal as a war trophy and so he couldn’t divorce her.

David and Michal were living together but divorced. Circumstances couldn’t allow them to divorce but they were divorced. Are you living together but divorced? Are children the reason why the actual divorce hasn’t happened? Are the reasons economic? It is not God’s will that you live in marriage a divorced life.

May God help us to avoid the challenges that David and Michal had in their relationship. May God help us to change our ways to avoid such situations in marriage. May God help us to change and not wait for the other person to change. In Jesus’s name, Amen!

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