If You Say This During any Debate, You Have Lost It

John 8:48 (NIV) – The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?”

Jesus had a dialogue with religious leaders. They raised questions to trap Him. They raised questions to prove Him wrong. They raised questions because they didn’t like Him. 

A believer should avoid getting involved in arguments and debates concerning beliefs and practices. Once it goes beyond teaching and preaching, the discussion ceases to be meaningful. The participants don’t learn but compete to either silence each other or defend their positions. This is not worth the time and effort of any believer and Apostle Paul a very educated man and inspired, advised against it. 

2 Timothy 2:23-26 (NIV) – 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

The moment you notice you are not exchanging knowledge but trying to prove each other wrong – stop contributing and move on to something else. If it is a competition of who will silence who – stop contributing and move on to something else. If you cannot gentle listen and teach, and you must now aggressively defend your position while the other person aggressively opposes- stop contributing and move to something else. Even if it means you come out as a loser and the other person is a winner, so be it.

Jesus was teaching and suddenly religious leaders engaged Him. The discussion seemed to be progressing very well until it got too complicated for them. They couldn’t understand nor agree with Jesus.

John 8:27 (NIV) – They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father.

At this point of the discussion they couldn’t understand Jesus and they had consistently disagreed with what He was saying. Take note of what happens when they are unable to understand nor agree. This is how many discussions progress when one person doesn’t understand and still disagrees.

John 8:48 (NIV) – The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?”

Insults began after understanding became impossible. They called Jesus a Samaritan when He wasn’t a Samaritan. Jews hated Samaritans. To call a Jew a Samaritan was to insult Him. This was abusive language.

When a person loses in a debate, discussion and argument, the person resorts to insults. If you insult anyone during a debate, you have lost the debate. You are no longer focusing on the debate but on who is debating. You are no longer attacking the points but now attacking the person.

John 8:52-53 (NIV) – 52 At this they exclaimed, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that whoever obeys your word will never taste death. 53 Are you greater than our father Abraham? He died, and so did the prophets. Who do you think you are?”

They called Jesus demon-possessed. That was another insult.  Jesus is God He can’t be demon-possessed! When you move from the subject of the discussion to the person discussing- you have lost it.

Why did they move the discussion from what Jesus was saying to insulting who He was? They had no more reasonable points to counter what Jesus was saying. Therefore they vented the anger of their failure by abusing and insulting Him.

The other purpose of abuse and insult is to provoke you to do the same thing. This drags you from where you are winning to where you will lose. Once you also hurl an insult and abuse, you will have officially moved from the subject of discussion to a new issue of disrespectful conduct.

If you insult and abuse those who insult and abuse you, you are no better than them. Your words during the insults will be used against you and delegitimize your entire argument in a matter. Your points in the legitimate argument become weak and marred with your unchristian insults.

Therefore, do what Jesus did. Ignore the abuse and insults. Treat abuse and insults as a trap to set you up for failure. Treat abuse and insult as a sign that the other party has lost the debate and changed the topic to one you can’t handle. Treat abuse and insult as a signal for you to make your last remarks and exit the collapsed discussion.

Once a debate reaches a level where there is insult and abuse, something worse will happen. Such a discussion quickly degenerates to life threatening. It easily becomes violent.

John 8:59 (NIV) – At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.

A discussion ensued. They disagreed with Jesus. They couldn’t win against Him or prove Him wrong. They couldn’t understand Jesus. Then they resorted to insults and abuse. Jesus ignored the insults and abuse. The insults and abuse ended up as physical violence. They picked up stones to kill Jesus!

When talking to anyone and you get to insults and abuse, you are approaching a life threatening zone. That is a signal to plan a safe exit from the discussion and the person until it’s safe. Do not respond with insults and abuse. Do not continue with the discussion.

When they attempted violence on Jesus, He walked away. He slipped away. He didn’t fight back yet as God He could. Even if you can fight and win – don’t fight. Walk away. 

If you insult and abuse back as it has been done to you, you will also fight back. In the fight you can get hurt or harm the other person and it becomes a criminal offense. Many men and women are dead or in prison for murder, because they couldn’t walk away from a discussion that had insults, abuse and then violence. Walk away! Jesus walked away yet He had power to fight. Walk away!

Physically walk away or keep silent. On social media, you can stop contributing to the discussion. On social media you can exit the group. On social media you can ensure such persons don’t see your page and you don’t see their pages. You can unsubscribe. You can unfriend. You can unfollow.

On social media insults and abuse will target you at first. A sign that the discussion is lost. Then the discussion will degenerate to violence by attacking your weakest points or your vulnerable family members. The anger from such attacks may cause depression or lead to seeking each other physically to violently silence each other. Don’t let it get that far.

The fourth President of Kenya exited social media because it was no longer a meaningful place to engage the public. It was a place where opponents would hurl insults and abuse at him and his family. The discussion had failed. In wisdom he exited the platform and found peace. Yet he had power to get those insulting him and teach them a lesson. He exited in the year 2020. Jesus exited. You too can exit and refuse to participate!

A believer can only engage in constructive discussions. No believer should abuse or insult anyone at anytime. We may hide in pseudo accounts online but that is not hiding from God. Do not abuse or insult even your worst opponents. History has better ways to seek Justice and redress for any real or alleged offenses. A believer cannot resort to violence. People who do such things and claim to be Christians are hypocrites and hell bound.

Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Junior, proved that the Jesus method works. You can win using non violent methods. You can compel administrations to do justice in non-abusive, non-insulting, and non-violent ways. 

Matthew 12:36-37 (NIV) – 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Every careless and abusive word will be a subject of God’s judgment. As we gladly hurl insults and abuses online, we hurt people. We shorten their lives. Some probably die earlier or end their own lives because of our cyber bullying. We may be online heroes for now but not for long. We will not escape God’s harshest judgment. Two wrongs don’t make a right, be like Jesus!

You are accountable to God for everything you post online in your real and hidden account. You are accountable to God for what you forward, repost and like. You are held responsible for people your hurt with your witty insults. 

Once a debate and discussion loses its objective of exchanging knowledge- get out of it. Once it changes to insults and abuse – get out of it. Even if you too can insult and abuse in the most hurting manner – don’t do it, get out of it. If you delay and it degenerates to violence, run for your dear life even if it will seem like you are weak and a loser.

May God help us to be wise in our discussions. May God remind us these things during moments when we find ourselves in heated arguments. May we be like Jesus was in such situations. In Jesus’s name, Amen!

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