Three Daily Occurrences to Handle Three Different Ways

James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
James 1:20
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

James 1:26
Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

Three daily occurrences. The first one is that people will talk to us and we should listen. The second one is that we will be expected or even pushed to talk in order to respond or express ourselves. The third one is that we will get offended or get annoyed and feelings of anger will crowd us. These three happen on a daily basis. The three should be handled differently!

These three will occur daily at home, in the neighborhood, at work, in school, at church, and even with strangers. These three will happen anytime between us and both the people we know and those we do not know. We must learn how to respond to each of these three. Three daily occurrences to handle in three different ways!

Since these things happen daily, how you handle them will define your habits, character, and who you are. Since they happen daily they will shape how people perceive you and understand you. Since they happen daily, this is what your reputation is made of. By these three you will be loved or hated or avoided. Three daily occurrences to handle in three different ways!

The first one is the need to listen. We only listen when we think someone has something to say that we need to know. We listen to people we respect. If you think someone has nothing to say to you it will be difficult to listen. Listening shows a person that you respect them. A person at a higher advantage who listens to people below is highly admired because they are humble enough to listen.

Listening heals the other person. Most of the time what people wish to get from us is a listening ear. They want us to just hear their part of perception and story. People get satisfied and relieved when we listen even before solving their issues. The greatest favor you can do to anyone is to listen to them.

When people are happy and excited, they want to express it. Therefore, friends come in handy by listening to each other. When people are disturbed, they want to express it. When people are in pain they want to express it. We visit the bereaved to hear them express grief and not to lecture them to persevere. Just listen to them.

In relationships both before and after marriage, the best partners are those who listen. Communication breakdown in relationships is because someone stopped listening. When you listen you will reply without delay. The reply is not to express your opinion but to show me that you received my call, text, email, etc. When you delay responding frequently, it means I am no longer a priority to you. When I beg you to reply it hurts me and this relationship is on its way to ending or being a perpetual pain. All you need to do is demonstrate that you are listening by listening, by putting aside your phone or other gadgets when I am talking, by turning off the TV, by stopping to listen, etc. Show that you are listening by instant sensible reply and not an amorphous emoji or one word like noted. All I really deeply desire and would really satisfy me is if you listen without interrupting, jumping to a conclusion, or dismissing me. Just listen!

The Bible tells us to be quick in listening. Daily people we know and we don’t know will want us to listen. Be quick in listening. Please listen to both the people close to you and those far from you. Listening carries no risks, therefore without delay, be quick to listen.

We only evade listening to people if we are guilty and listening will increase the guilt. We avoid listening to people when we fear that we don’t have an answer for them, we have acted in a dishonest way. We avoid listening to people when we are proud and feel like we don’t need anyone in our life. A true honest humble Christian will be quick to listen at home and away. If you listen you will solve three-quarters of your relationships problem at home and away. Listen!

Secondly, the Bible tells us to be slow in talking. After listening you don’t need to reply immediately. What you need to do immediately is to show that you are and we’re listening, that is all. Be slow in responding. Take time to respond. For serious matters even ask for time to respond later.

Be slow to respond because response carries your answer and feelings about the matter. Your feelings may destroy a good response. When you delay talking, your feelings get controlled. Every time we talk, two things come out, the first is what we are saying, and the second is how we feel about it. The feelings can be destructive, therefore in order to manage them, delay your talk.

When we delay talking we also pray about the matter. We consult. We research. We think again. We weigh options, etc. It is in your best interest to be slow in talking. Once you speak, you can’t retract your words, therefore be slow. Talking is permanent, be slow in doing permanent things because you can never undo them. Be slow in speaking, be quick in listening. You will always be required to listen immediately but not to respond instantly. Responding immediately is a sign of foolishness and not wit. Fools engage their mouth before engaging the brain. Delay your talking!

To delay talking may range from a one-minute delay to several years depending on the weight of the matter. Some matters will get affected if you unnecessarily delay for too long. Other matters are best delayed until clarity comes. Weigh the matter and only delay appropriately. Be quick to listen but delay your talking. People may think you are a fool but do not confirm it or provide evidence by talking. Delay your talking!

The third and last for today is to be slow to anger. We get annoyed on a daily basis, be slow to anger. Instant expression of anger is always regrettable. Instant expression of anger brings losses. Instant expression of anger is based on incomplete information and an abundance of assumptions therefore foolishness. It is a sign of wisdom, strength, and maturity when we don’t get angry when offended. Anyone who makes us angry has controlled us. If someone wants you to get angry and you don’t, you have won against them. Our greatest safety is to completely delay the expression of anger.

Daily you will be expected to listen, be quick to listen. Daily you will be required to talk in response, be slow, deliberately slow down your talking. Daily you will be provoked, be very slow to anger. May God help us to manage these three daily occurrences as the Bible has recommended, in Jesus’s name, Amen!

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