Should We Address Feelings of Jealousy and Suspicion in Relationships?

Numbers 5:14
and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure—

If you feel jealous to the extent that it is affecting your relationship with other people, should you ignore it or address it? If you are suspicious that something is amiss in your relationship, should you address it or ignore it until it disappears if it does? Should we address feelings of jealousy and suspicion in relationships?

Jealousy and suspicion are commonplace in relationships such as marriage and courtship. It is also common in the workplace between workers. It is also common in business among partners. It is also common among relatives and friends. It is also common among neighbors. Should we address feelings of jealousy and suspicion in relationships?

Numbers 5:11-13
(11) Then the LORD said to Moses, (12) “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him (13) so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act),

God instructed Moses to tell Israelites that feelings of jealousy and suspicion have to be addressed. It is the LORD who said to Moses. It was not the tradition of that time. It is God who instructed that if a man has no evidence against his wife yet he has feelings of jealousy and suspicion, it has to be addressed.

God gave a procedure that was to be undertaken before a priest. We may not be able to use the same formula because we no longer have the same priests with that same assignment. Priesthood as it was at that time came to an end when Jesus died on the cross. We now have Jesus as our only priest in heaven. He is the current priest who should handle your feelings of jealousy and suspicion.

The church leaders today have roles that give them a new definition other than that of a priest. The current pastors are not prophets per se except in their preaching role. The current pastors are not priests per se except in their role to pray for people and manage the place of worship. The current pastors are not Apostles per se except in their evangelistic role. The current pastors are a little bit of everything that religious leaders were in Bible times. They, therefore, are a new crop of religious leaders. They cannot, therefore, serve as priests to administer the bitter medication of establishing the innocence or guilt of a suspected spouse.

The point we can salvage from that Old Testament practice of addressing guilt and jealousy is that whichever way it has to be addressed. God tells Moses that this should not be ignored. Relationships do not thrive where there is insecurity causing jealousy. That relationship becomes toxic and a health hazard. That relationship will end in heartache and pain. That relationship will bring up maladjusted children.

A relationship where partners are ever suspicious of each other will never know happiness. Every move is suspect. A suspicious person sees trouble where there is none. A suspicious person does not trust anyone and that makes them unfit to actually relate with anyone.

A jealous and suspicious person is unforgiving. They find no basis to forgive because they keep getting reasons to be jealous and suspicious. For them the wound is ever fresh it never dries because suspicion refreshes the wound. A relationship that has no forgive and move on policy will always be stuck in the past as partners struggle to tame the real or imagined issues of each other.

To save us from all these, God says, address that suspicion and jealousy. Confront it and address it conclusively. Talk about it. Pray about it. Seek counseling. Change your ways that make your partner uncomfortable.

May God help us to address feelings of jealousy and suspicion when it is appropriate, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

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