Is It Mutual?

Song of Songs 7:10
I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.

A relationship should be mutual or else it will be abusive. Mutual means that both parties have the same interest and passion for the relationship. It means both parties are genuinely working towards the welfare of the relationship. If the relationship is mutual, both parties work towards the success of the relationship. Is it mutual?

When a relationship is not mutual, one works towards the welfare of the relationship and the other ignores or criticizes those efforts. In a relationship that is not mutual criticism is common yet it should be joint efforts. How do you criticise what you should be contributing towards? In a relationship that is not mutual, one is dragging the other through life. Dragged to love. Dragged to be shown to parents and relatives. Dragged through dating and courtship. Dragged to engagement. Dragged through the wedding process. Dragged to participate in family. Dragged to parenting. The day the one who is dragging gets tired, the relationship ends. If it is not mutual, it will end in pain. Is it mutual?

A none mutual relationship thrives because of the hope of one partner that the disinterested partner will change and develop interest. It never happens except by the miraculous grace of God. A none mutual relationship thrives because of the fear of one partner that if they give up the other one doesn’t care and will also let go. The one pushing the relationship needs the relationship more than the partner. Therefore they hang on to a disinterested partner in order to remain in the relationship they want. This happens to people whose jobs are also defined by having a family, a good example is pastors. This also happens to people whose upbringing and religious convictions and expectations they set for themselves would not allow them to break out of a bad relationship. Breaking out of a bad relationship would not be a relief but a life of guilt until they die. Such people would make a none mutual relationship to thrive. Is it mutual?

A relationship where one has nothing to lose will not be mutual. If one feels they are young and can still start living with someone else they will not make mutual contributions. If one feels that their family would welcome them back if this relationship ends and they will even be happier, this relationship will not be mutual. If one feels that they have enough money and can do without the other partner, it will not be mutual. If one partner doesn’t need the other or the relationship, they will not make contributions. It will not be mutual. Is it mutual?

The poetic drama of the biblical book of Song of Songs emphasizes that a relationship and the attendant love should be mutual. The man and woman in the inspired book who are talking to each other, express mutual love, mutual admiration, and mutual interest in the relationship. None is begging the other for love. None is disinterested while the other pushes. The relationship and all it entails is totally mutual. How is your relationship? Is it mutual?

We must work towards mutual relationships. How is your relationship with your married spouse? Is it mutual? Could you be a disinterested party? Can you up your game? How is your relationship with a potential marriage partner, is it mutual? How is your relationship with your employer? Are you both interested in the goals of the organization? Is it mutual? Are you salary-minded only or you also care about the mission of the organization? Is it mutual? How is your relationship with your church, church leaders, and fellow believers? Are you focused on the same spiritual objectives? Are all of you interested in growing spiritually and bringing many people to Jesus? Is it mutual?

We must work towards mutual relationships. How is your relationship with God? Our text today tells us that the two lovers love each other. Can that be said of you and God? Do you love God as He loves you? Is it mutual? God sacrifices everything for you, do you sacrifice anything for God? Abraham was willing to sacrifice his only son for God? That love was mutual between Abraham and God. What about you and God? Is it mutual? Martyrs died because their faith and love for God were mutual. What about you? Can you die for anything divine? Is it mutual?

If the relationship is not mutual it is abusive. One is exploiting the other. One can harass the other mentally and even physically. One is emotionally cheating the other person. If it is not mutual, unfaithfulness becomes a more active threat. If it is not mutual it will affect your health negatively. We must work towards mutual relationships. Seek expert help, read books, listen to counsel, and share this blog with others to trigger their mind to work towards mutual relationships. Openly discuss whether it is mutual. Pray that it is mutual. Do it together. Continuously ask yourself this critical question, is it mutual?

The onus is on the one with the upper hand to tone down and make it mutual. God having the upper hand, came to our level to make it mutual. Spoke our language through inspired scriptures to make it mutual. Bears with our weaknesses to make it mutual. You are the one who can do without this relationship. You are the one who can walk away with minimal or no damage. You are the one who is holding the key to whether this relationship continues or ends. You are the one God expects to make this relationship mutual, by you toning down for good. Make it mutual. Is it mutual?

Dear God, may our relationship with You be mutual, as You love us, let us love You and one another. Help us to mutually relate with our colleagues, fellow believers, friends, relatives and most of all close family members. Make it mutual dear God. May our emotional, love life and relationships be mutual. Save us from abusive people who stick by us but refuse to make it mutual. May all of it be mutual for the glory of God, in Jesus’ name, Amen!